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Literature Text
Autumn sky,
bluer than the oceans,
her beautiful eyes
looking into my soul,
seeing me for who I am
</b>
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Another romantic Tanka!!!
Eye shot by:
Background by me:
Eye shot by:
Background by me:
© 2005 - 2024 MSJames
Comments3
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very nice work! I liked the images and reflective nature of it.
The words "Autumn sky" to me counjures up the image of a sunset, oranges and reds and yellows. So the next line "bluer than the oceans" didn't seem to carry on the image very well. Perhaps replacing the word "Autumn" with another word which is less colour evocative (or at least evokes more bluer hues) would help the flow of the poetic image.
Excellent work though!
The words "Autumn sky" to me counjures up the image of a sunset, oranges and reds and yellows. So the next line "bluer than the oceans" didn't seem to carry on the image very well. Perhaps replacing the word "Autumn" with another word which is less colour evocative (or at least evokes more bluer hues) would help the flow of the poetic image.
Excellent work though!